March 8, 2007

In Moscow there is no network of feminists and Vlasta had to roll in on a jolty, clattering train from Kiev to kick her friend Lena’s ass to get something done. Her unshaved female armpits came to match the only ones existant in Moscow right now. These are mine, -and so we instantly connected. In typical Russian inefficiency, having feted Vlasta’s arrival the eve, the 7^th of March we slept till five in the afternoon, then had slow tea over exciting stories from ecological camps and anti-establishment actions, and it is only because Russian shopping centers tend to be 24 hour-ones, that my mission (steal all the tarpaulin and coloured scotch for banners from OBI) could still be accomplished. The real preparations had to wait till the “holy” 8^th of March itself.

It was a feat, but in order to manage our very tense schedule for the day of the action as efficiently as possible, we got up in the middle of our usual night, some twenty minutes before noon. Despite my usual scatter-brained laziness, some of my “German efficiency” shone through, 'cause had I had my way, we of course would have been up on that bridge hanging that banner at 5 in the morning already. I simply had too many ants in my pants to let them have slow tea over exciting stories from ecolollic camps and anti-allegorical actions this time and let trickle away that day. So at around 1 o’clock we finally moved our asses, bought some beer on the way to the metro, and off we were to our task.

I am not going into the tedious details of how exactly the stars aligned to meddle with our mission, but overconsumption of vodka impeding our motoric skills honestly was just one of the factors. For example we also lost the key to the squat where we were going to stick our sticky bits together and all that, and so we had to walk all the 2 km back to the metro exit, everyone scrupulously scanning the ground for that tiny shiny tool that was supposed to open the door to the bunker for us. On the way we stumbled across a bottle of champagne, still more than half full, sunken in the snow by a tramway stop, the occasion of which was greeted more clamorously than the actual rediscovery of the key I must say.

When finally we were tottering over tarpaulin spread out on the ground, trying to coordinate the words the best –“and where do you think we can fit an anarchist sign?”-, I mentally remarked, somewhat resigned, that in Belgium we would have done all this much quicker, simply because of the fact that instead of debilitating alcohol we would of been consuming stimulating amphetamines. Oh well, whatever. When we were done, we actually expected to step out into the night, but *surprise, surprise* there was still a good hour of daylight left -we’d done better than we thought!

Half and hour later at Kazanskaya metro station a great confusion of hands called-in as back-up were shaken. Climbing up that muddy and slippery slope to the railway bridge actually proved the most difficult part of the action. The banners themselves were swung over the railings swiftly, and were readily attached. Granted, we ran out of sticky tape, but I deftly fixed the last lash with a sock of mine. We then ran away along the rails, no one losing their life to the unexpected 7.31 to Odessa speeding out of Kazanskii Trainstation or anything. Climbing over a wall in a convenient place, we split and saved ourselves into different side streets, no one after us, and Vlasta and I, walking hand in hand like a couple in love, French-kissed to celebrate the smooth success of our action.

The banners, hanging from a railway bridge above one of the busiest streets of Moscow were clearly legible and hung there till the morning. One small gesture in a town of 15 Million people, but I’m glad we did our little bit.